Five Part Paragraphs

   Over the last few weeks we have been reading five part paragraphs aloud in class. A common critique that seems to come up is always about the commentary. Whether the writer has too much, too little, too much plot summary, etc. it seems like it is a recurring element in our writing. It's a little bit different for each persons paragraph, but something always comes up about the commentary. I think this can be solved if people start to edit their paragraphs better. They have been good, but if people spend more time on the commentary especially that it will be a lot better. The commentary is something that really makes or breaks a paragraph, so it's important that it's good. If the commentary in peoples' paragraphs improves the paragraphs will be a lot better.  
     One thing that I need to work on is editing. I spend way too much time over-thinking my paragraph. I hated my paragraph and I couldn't figure out what to do. Finally I just sat down and rewrote it. Not completely, but I changed a lot of what I had written. I still wasn't really happy with it, but it was better that what I'd had. I just need to be able to write things the way I really want them the first time. Editing isn't bad, but I just need to stop over thinking my writing. I also write way to much, and it's overwhelming for the paragraph. If there is too much, then the paragraph is hard to process. When I was rewriting my paragraph I took a ton of stuff out and it cleared my head about what I really wanted to write. If I can get better at figuring out what I want to include, then my writing will become better.